it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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