i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
