maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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