I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
