where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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