so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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