Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
