Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
