Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
