those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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