They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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