I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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