I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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