Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize