Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
