Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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