oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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