so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
