I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
