i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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