Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
