Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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