it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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