so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
do herpes really smell.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
