Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Pants are for mortals
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
