Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
