your parents love me but you hate me
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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