so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
