he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
