that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
