So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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