I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
babies were throwing up all over the place
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
