You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Randomize
