I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
