They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
