yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
