how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
