I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
