you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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