I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
