pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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