**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
