I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
