he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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