that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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