He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I deserve this hangover.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
