All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
