Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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