porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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