it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
