i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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