I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
When did we convert life to cartoon?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
