it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize