dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
