After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize