a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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