Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
