Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
