Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
