as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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