to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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