I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
