i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
