I'm so fucking centered right now
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
