theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
