My hand turned me down
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
