i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
