When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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