Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
