The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
