we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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