At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
