And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
